Storytelling is a safe space for creative thinking, negotiating differences, and establishing commonality. Storytelling empowers the speaker and improves communication through speaking and listening. Stories are the most efficient way of storing, retrieving, and conveying information. Since story hearing requires active participation on the part of the listener, stories are the most profoundly social form of communication.
Maslow’s hierarchy of needs has taught us a lot about the basic things we require. There are the necessities like bread…water but what about less tangible needs and how do these needs express themselves in our organizations?
My wife is a child and family therapist working with families affected by adoption. Like bread and water children subsist on the connections they form; without these their development becomes threatened. In her field they term this waltz of intimacy attachment. We know it when we see it…imagine a child on a beach with an approaching rough wave – and a mother’s securing hand is ready for the taking without a child searching or asking for it. This attachment…this bond becomes a sort of unconscious part of our DNA driving the fruition and articulation of relationships.
Maybe it boils down this…are we available and responsive to one another?
Watch this 2 minute video as a conversation starter...
In a former life I spent a lot of time behind the mesh of a fencing mask.
In this week's video blog I reflect on my experiences as a competitive fencer and think how these experiences might be applied in an organizational setting.
Here are a few of the questions this two minute video tackles...
Do you see your struggles to be heard, influential and effective in your organization as duels? How often do you cross blades with opponents in your organization? Are you playing to win or have you written your own unpublished special set of rules to govern your interactions?
Over time something curious struck me…when I lifted my mask the struggles ceased
Get en garde and watch the video and then weigh in with your ideas:
A special thanks goes out to Serge Timacheff at FencingPhotos.com for graciously sharing the photos in the video. Be sure to check out his amazing galleries.
Last week was my son Gabriel's 7th birthday. He insisted on a fencing party. What a blast 25 kids ready to take on the world. Folks often ask me for video of my fencing. Unfortunately I really have none. Here's a little clip of Tom Lutton and I doing a fencing demo for the kids at the party. I pickup a weapon maybe once a year but for me it's like riding a bicycle. After so many years of living and breathing fencing it comes back quickly.
Here's a clip of me fencing. I'm on the right of the screen. TOUCHE!
I'll have to post later a small clip of the kids engaged in war with foam sword (aka whackers) pure delightful mayhem.
My buddy Michael Bungay Stainer has brought his energy, creativity and love for helping people to bear in this new opus extraordinaire.
Michael has a knack for simplifying complex things and offering engaging, fun ways to tackle tough stuff.
Check out this video to get a feel for yourself:
Start the work that matters
In Michael Bungay Stanier's new book Do More Great Work: stop the busywork and start the work that matters he offers up fifteen practical ways you can finally do more of the work that engages and stretches you, that has a real impact, that plays to your strengths - and that matters. The exercises are "maps", simple and powerful visual tools that help you find, start and sustain your Great Work. Amongst other things you'll:
Find clues to your own Great Work - they're all around you
Generate new ideas and possibilities quickly and powerfully
Locate and expand the sweet spot between what you want to do and what your organization wants you to do
Best manage the overwhelm
Tap into your inner courage
Double the likelihood you'll do what you want to do
As well as the maps, the book has various coaching tips scattered throughout, as well as original guest contributions from some big names such as Seth Godin, Michael Port, Zen Habits' Leo Babauta and others.
Start your Great Work now
Life is short. If you're looking to do more of the work that matters, the time to start is now. And Do More Great Work may be just the resource you need to get (and keep) going.
Here are a couple of thoughts on how we can put stories to work to help us develop greater organizational awareness of the small and large things:
We use stories to explain other people's behavior and develop strategies for how to interact with them.
We are also capable of considering alternative behaviors that go against our ingrained ones by being aware of what stories describe our nature and by imagining alternative ones.
Stories are the templates upon which new behaviors can be projected onto and actualized. We use stories to gain an understanding of who we are. Collectively our stories paint an accurate picture of who we are. If we can access this information, we give ourselves freedom. In other words we can break out of an old story and temporarily adopt a new one.
And for the final shameless product plug for a guy who loves to share but also does need to make a living I have a wonderful book of group process activities that can be used to help people experience these critical skills.
What makes one conversation rich and satisfying and another one merely transactional? And what kind of communications do you believe produce the best results in organizational meetings?
Think back on a meeting that had both satisfying conversations and results…
Do you see any connection between the nature of the conversations and the results? Was the meeting completely staged or was it fueled by the dynamics and energies of the people involved?
Join me for two minutes of reflection and then share your epxeriences with me.
How do meaningful conversations and meetings work in your organization? What techniques have you used to strike a balance between the critical structured tools of agendas and protocols with the informal dynamics of conversations.
I find myself drawn to the words of Henry Wadsworth Longfellow...
"Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing, Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness. So on the ocean of life we pass and speak one another. Only a look and a voice; then darkness again and a silence."
How do relationships in organizations stack up with Longfellow’s observation? Has technology accelerated our relationships or hindered them? Is there any way to gratify those human needs that infiltrate our workplaces in the oddest ways…our needs to be accepted, respected, and valued by others?
Like a blooming flower relationships take time. In the ethos of our organizations we are called to cultivate and nurture the people around us. Sunlight, water, time, and a host of other hard to traces forces work their complex magic…
There may be no short cuts to forming relationships but the shortest distance between two people is a story.
Draw the stories of people around corporate imperatives and watch how people are drawn to each other and become more engaged performers.
Spend 2 minutes with me reflecting by watching in this video and the share your thoughts...
Collaboration and partnership are not a choice. They are business imperatives. Interaction is king. Today our organizations and the projects we do in support of their missions have too many working parts and too many integration points to be achieved in solitude.
We would never expect an entire network to rely on one node, so why would we assume that projects need to be centrally managed and controlled by a project team? The days of throwing the requirements over the walls and letting the brainiacs figure out what we really need or want are figure out what we really need or want are over. It’s time to roll up your sleeves and prepare to meet your stakeholders up close and personal. Trust me, it’s not as bad as it might sound.
Your business partners don’t have to be part of the problem if you make them part of the solution. Granted, not every business partner is going to roll out the red carpet and invite you to the executive table. However, just as you are hopefully realizing that technical prowess is not enough,your business partners are beginning to realize that viewing you as a service provider ready to cater to their every whim will not benefit them or the organization.
Projects must produce value. Projects are endlessly balancing risk with value. When risk outweighs the potential value of a project, or if something changes in the environment whereby the realization of the value is no longer possible, then a project needs to be killed. How would you like success to be measured – by jointly deciding with your business partners that a project should be killed? Say goodbye to the days of marching to Napoleonic Waterloos.
WE SINK OR SWIM TOGETHER
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The proliferation of virtual collaboration tools has ushered in a new age of projects. Living and breathing the tactical moves and grooves of collaboration and partnership has gotten easier. Forget about socializing the soft and fuzzy tenets of your newfound convictions. Work flows, business processes and the tools of engagement have made it easier for you to start walking the talk. Once you start walking others will follow – and they won’t even know you are enlightening them at the same time.
This eBook will show you how to implement virtual
collaboration tools throughout the life cycle of a project to leverage
all of the benefits of partnership and collaboration.
Citrix UK sponsored a recent webinar of my discussion of the topic.
What have been your experiences? How have you used virtual collaboration technologies/ What are some of the things you have learned along the way? Are there any pit falls to be aware of?
In other words you can’t step twice into the same river. Habits are the ingrained patterns of behaviors and thoughts that we habituate. Change takes us outside our familiar zone of comfort.
There's a paradox here. Change is as natural to us as is habituation. Think about your body. Within seven years almost every cell in your body is replaced. There’s nothing permanent or stable about life. However, our perceptual system is designed to perceive the world as stable. If it weren't, we would have an awfully hard navigating the world.
For me change management is not about creating stability in the face of chaos; rather, it’s about giving people tools to imagine new possibilities.
What does a Greek philosopher, a raging river and the game of Fluxx have in common. Watch this two minute and see:
Create organizational and communication processes that are structured but flexible. Then let the possibilities emerge and the game begin.
How have you managed organizational communication and learning in your organization to support change/ How have stories been a part of that process? Have you considered how you might work with story-based communication processes to stimulate engaging, healthy responses to the raging change we find in our organizations?
Yesterday I led a complimentary webinar on Facilitation Techniques with Stories. Here's a brief description of the session:
Guiding groups through sense making is challenging yet rewarding. Our job is to help people work with their stories to generate new meanings, learning, and insights. This is not as simple as it may appear. Stories operate on lots of different levels. Unless we become sensitized to the various ways people make sense of their stories, we will miss precious opportunities to help them find meaning that can guide their behaviors in new directions. This 45 minute interactive webinar examines dynamics that surface when groups share their stories and experiences with one another.
These two ideas are hardly the beginning of a conversation. Can't say it all in two minutes and neither can one person.
Take a moment and reflect on the game of chess and then share your thoughts of the other ways chess informs our ideas of strategic organizational communication. And for crying out loud...if you've got a story about chess start divulging!
Today, January 14th I am celebrating my 9th wedding anniversary with my beloved bride Cindy. I look back and the time has passed in a flash. Nine years later, two beautiful children, plenty of ups and downs but a relationship deepened and blessed by the "throes of outrageous fortunes."
Life is truly sweet. For whatever bitterness and pain and confusion there are gems in the offing waiting to find there way to our hearts. On this happy day and memory, I pause to send forth the joy I am feeling in my heart to the people of Haiti who have just suffered a horrible tragedy. May aid to them in all forms be swift and thorough, And may from the rubles there be a Phoenix of good, hope, prosperity, and joy be found for everyone tied to this story. We all are tied to the story whether we feel or it not.
I want to share a song I wrote and sang for Cindy at our wedding. There is also a video below. The words so perfectly describe Cindy and what have proven to be the most precious gifts in our relationship...
Her gentle spirit deep & true Fills me with wonder anew
Her bright warm heart, tender and sweet Opens with kindness each time we meet
Her shy and pretty face attentive and fair Beams with goodness when I'm in her care
Her sharp quick mind, sensitive and clear Listens with patience when I am share my fears
And now we face, a joyous new life, with dreams and hopes as husband and wife...
May God's blessings guide my joy and my pride, Forever and ever... Cindy my Bride
In a flurry of typical creative tornado my father and I wrote the song days before the wedding, rehearsed it twice with piano and of course never rehearsed it with the band. At the wedding my father and mother were still teaching me the song and coaching me. There are great photos of me trying to eat, conferring with my parental musical mentors, and keep it a surprise from Cindy. Furtive dry rehearsals for the few moments she stepped away from the table.
Cindy and I were so taken and moved by the song. It haunted us in the most beautiful way during our honeymoon. Washing over us in waves. To this day the song brings both of us great peace.
Thank you for indulging my stories and memories. Weddings shower us with a renewal of love. The rite of love is mysterious and it cannot escape our attention regardless of creed, belief, race or cultural. Each of us with our own love songs and coffer brimming with stories and questions that sweeten our journey. If you are so inclined, share a piece of your journey with others in this space. I hope what I have shared triggers much richness for you.
Fire is a wonderful metaphor for understanding some of the subtleties of stories. Spend two minutes with me and reflect on what light fire can cast on our understanding of stories...
Wow...2010...I'm not one to make resolutions but I am interested in trying something new. I thought I would begin to blog more frequently by including video messages as a part of my blog.
So on the this day of Epiphany I thought it was a great time to reflect and share the gift of video blogging. The gift will only be complete if you add your voice to the conversation and if whatever I share becomes a catalyst for your own insights.
Great stories are timeless. Do you think kids would find the story of Carmen interesting? Without a doubt!
When my father passed away three years ago my family and I vowed to establish a foundation to bring opera to kids and support the production of American composer's operas. Our dream has come true and we are off the ground running.
We named the 501 (3) (c) foundation Occhiata. As an opera and symphony conductor and composer my father had a wonderful way o working with artist. His baton, hands, and eyes were his primary forms of communication. He had a signature warm wink and emphatic, "OK" sign he would give artists during rehearsals and performance. In the stillness of the moment of a finished piece; that liminal space of of silence you could feel the magnetic love rush out of my father's body to thank and appreciate the team of artists who had just collaborated together. It was their real moment of mutual gratitude. Gratitude for the music, gratitude for the talent and opportunity to play it, gratitude for working together, gratitude for the composer, gratitude for my father's leadership, gratitude for the audience listening. The applause was an aside. It was an intimate pregnant moment between my father and the creative space that had been created to bring the music to life. Such is the passion and love of my father which I feel is very much present today as it was when he was here with me.
How grateful I am for our many collaborations and for his wonderful example of tackling with patience, humor, humility, passion and always love the good, difficult, horrible and joyous exigencies of life. The Occhiata Foundation is here to perpetuate and share the creative energy he cultivated during his life. It is this intangible spirit we wish to cultivate and share with others as they give shape, form, and expression to their unique ways of experiencing this wondrous creative power that rests in the depths of each and every one of us.
Last Friday we began our kickoff pilot with North County Middle School in (Castroville, California). We are working with The Met: HD Live in Schools program.
This was one of my father's favorite operas and the first one he conducted on tour. I know he was thrilled we were bringing this action pact story alive for students.
Six hundred students were treated to a special interactive presentation. Starting at 7:45 we gave six presentations to groups of 100 kids. I fired questions a mile a minute at them and when I wasn't doing that I was hoping on tables, dancing around like Gypsy smuggler, prancing like a Torreador, leading a regiment of students through the auditorium as we simulated the children chorus playing our pretend trumpets, or having a student pretending to be Carmen throw a flower at me.
Utilizing a bonanza of digital storytelling vehicles I brought the story of Carmen alive in some interesting ways. Check out this video I produced for near the front of the presentation to show students some of the places Carmen has showed up in popular culture. This is sure to surprise many of you.
I was delighted by the students universal response to seeing other kids. Of all the clips in the video (you did watch the video now didn't you?) the children's chorus got the biggest response.
Opera is far from stuffy. Put the emotion of music and the punch of a good story together and you have a potent art sure never to disappoint. I was thrilled to see how the kids became enamored with the characters and stories. They made great observations and asked super questions. Almost none of them had ever been exposed to opera.
We also stepped back and examined the arts. I gave the students some bad news: "there are more questions in life than answers," than I gave them some good news: "the arts give us an incredible outlet for projecting our questions onto a canvas we can live with our questions in deeply satisfying ways. In the space of art we can live with contradictions, ambiguities, and paradoxes. I dare say we thrive in this space. We are empowered to inhale the sacred that fills our being with the light of possibilities and connect us to a wider audience of others embarking on similar journeys.
After going through the story I left them with this movie style trailer...
Occhiata Foundation has purchased a block of tickets for the students. In January we will be taking a bus load of students to a local movie theater to see the Metropolitan Opera's HD live broadcast of Carmen. Following the presentation I will go back and meet with groups of students to hear their thoughts and reactions to the opera.
Would you like to get involved?
Contact Franca Gargiulo - 415-564-2600, franca.gargiulo@att.net for more information to learn how you can help us expand our pilot program for next year.
The arts are dying in our school we owe this to our kids. We have a lot of unanswerable questions...
Terrence L. Gargiulo, MMHS is an eight times author, international speaker, organizational development consultant and group process facilitator specializing in the use of stories. He holds a Master of Management in Human Services from the Florence Heller School, at Brandeis University, and is a recipient of Inc. Magazine's Marketing Master Award, the 2008 HR Leadership Award from the Asia Pacific HRM Congress, and is a member of Brandeis University’s athletic Hall of Fame. He has appeared on Fox TV, CN8, and on CNN radio among others.
Books: Making Stories: A Practical Guide for Organizational Leaders and Human Resource Specialists, The Strategic Use of Stories in Organizational Communication and Learning, On Cloud Nine: Weathering Many Generations in the Workplace, Stories at Work: Using Stories to Improve Communications and Build Relationships, Building Business Acumen for Trainers, Once Upon a Time: Using Story-based Activities to Develop Breakthrough Communication Skills, In the Land of Difficult People: 24 Timeless Tales Reveal How to Tame Beasts at Work, The Trainer’s Portable Mentor.
Terrence is a frequent speaker at international and national conferences.
